Before I came up with a title for this blog I googled “what is metacognition?” Here’s what came up:
I’m not big on fancy terms, but this is something that’s always on my mind, and I wasn’t sure if other people did this. But after several conversations with my cousin, it’s possible that this never crosses some peoples’ minds.
My cousin is in his mid 20s and a really good kid. He has a ‘day job,’ but likes the idea of going into business, or at least turning his passion / hobbies into a meaningful side hustle (and this is the point when people usually think to call me).
When we talk about his ideas and I make a proposal or recommendation, his answer ALWAYS start with “the problem with that is ________.” No matter what anyone says, the first thing he does is outline the problems with it. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the merits of identifying and assessing risk, but when the ONLY thing someone sees is a problem, it suggests there’s a one-sided commentary in that person’s mind.
I want to ask him (respectfully) if he is aware of his own thoughts. Does he observe himself thinking so negatively / pessimistically ALL the time? Does he ask himself why he defaults to this position?
I think my cousin should also take up the mental exercise of forcing himself to think “what’s ALSO GOOD about this idea.” It might take a whole lot of effort on his part at first, but over time this will be done faster and more automatically. And after a while, he will have a well rounded look / opinion on ideas that cross his path.
It all starts with being aware of what’s going on in our own heads. I make a point to closely monitor my thoughts and self talk. When I find myself thinking negatively or having destructive self talk, I’m quick to reflect on why this is happening and how I can correct this way of thinking. I also find it equally important to recognize and reinforce the times when I have positive self talk and thoughts — because this is something that wasn’t the case in years prior. This is always a work in progress, but the more we observe, the more lessons and positivity we can take away — nothing happens overnight, this is something to take one day at a time.
