During my daughter’s Freshman year in high school, they asked each parent to write a letter to be opened Senior year, right before graduation.
I recently found it saved on my computer and although (at the time of this blog) my daughter isn’t a Senior yet I thought I’d publish it as a reminder of some of my beliefs and principles as a parent. Parenting has been the most difficult and rewarding task I’ve experienced.
To My Baby Girl,
You will always be my baby girl. You changed my life for the better in so many ways. From the moment i saw your first sonogram picture, I wanted to be a better person, so that I could guide you through this thing we call life.
Among my many goals as your daddy, the following have been the most critical:
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- To be the daddy I always wished I had, and always wanted. One that makes you feel wanted, safe, and comfortable with who you are. No matter what you do or where you go, I want you to know that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You will always have my love and support.
- To guide you and teach you lessons that were never taught to me. This includes never shielding you from the evils of this world. There will be bullies, liars, and downright mean people, but my aim is NOT to shield you from them, but to teach you to be a strong enough person to deal with them and excel in their midst. Keeping you in a bubble doesn’t prepare you for the harsh, real world that you’re going to face someday. If I’m afraid of you being in water, then my thought has been that we better go swim!!!
- To trust that your mother and I have done a good job parenting and allow you to be an adult. My idea of parenting is to allow you to grow. You need to learn things for yourself and experience things through your own eyes. I might not be there all the time or call you everyday, but this is intentional. I WILL always be there for you if you need help, guidance, wisdom, or protection. As for the rest, you’re on your own, time to fly my little birdie.
I remember being your age like it was yesterday. I remember my strengths, accomplishments, fears, and difficulties. Since you’re my twin, I thought I’d give you some things to keep in mind as you go forward with this next chapter.
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- Know that you have options. FOLLOW YOUR OWN PATH. It’s not about what your mother, grandmother, myself or anyone want you to do. It’s about what makes you feel happy and fulfilled. And it’s ok if you don’t know exactly what that might be right now. The key is to go out and explore. Make every connection you can, be open to new experiences, and learn everything you can!
- Try to Zoom out. I remember being your age and literally everything that happened to me (good or bad) was a really big deal. I’d get super emotional about everything and be upset all the time. My advice is to zoom out on your life. Understand that this period of your life is only a small portion of it. When you look back on the things that upset you now, you’ll realize how insignificant they really were. And if you get into some really bad times, just remember THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Be strong in the moment and have faith in the future.
- Know what (and who) matter. Don’t get too caught up with trying to please everyone or worrying about what they think. So many years and tears were wasted with these worries. Understand that the people you think matter now, won’t even remember who you are in a few years, and you certainly won’t remember them. Make your own path and be confident in your choices.
You have made me so proud with everything you do and I know you’ll continue into your adult life. I love you with all my heart, you and your sister make me want to be the best version of me!
