The concept that this life doesn’t last long hit me between the eyes when I was 10 years old. More-so now than ever, it has informed my actions and outlook on life. The one positive male influence I had in my life was my grandfather on my father’s side. He was patient, fun, and one of the most gentle people I have ever met (even now). One night, he suddenly passed away and it devastated the family. He was in his mid-fifties.
I’m not sure if it was his passing or the tone that my father took afterwards. The men in our family certainly weren’t known for their longevity, but this was absolute confirmation. If a good man like my grandfather can pass so easily, my father with his rough lifestyle and chemical abundance didn’t stand a chance. The narrative was that we (as males) would not make it out of our fifties. Thinking about it now, my father leaned more towards the “I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time” approach, whereas I thought it meant we have limited time to do what we set out to accomplish — so we better not waste any time.
“I hope your parents all told you, that you fuckin’ die in the end. You’re gonna die. So what I’m wondering is why the fuck do we float through this weird things we call life without LIVING. You know, LIVE. Don’t exist, don’t simply exist, that’s boring as fuck, LIVE, you know. Stir some shit up, fuck some shit up, fuck it right — whatever the fuck your song is. Enriching our lives and trying to extract some sort of wisdom we can take with us, something more than mommy and daddy’s baggage. May we remember that each and everyone of us are composing the stories of our lives, let’s aim to make it a meaningful read, or at least an interesting one.” Johnny Depp in The Professor
In my grandfather’s premature passing, it helped me to comprehend my mortality, and in result appreciate it. I learned that life has an inescapable finite-ness to it. I’m reminded of the meme that reminds us to cherish life’s small moments, because in the end they end up being the big ones — and I couldn’t agree more. We have one shot at this life. One shot, and we must not accept mediocrity. We should strive to explore what we can accomplish with this short life we are given. That’s exactly what I plan on doing!
